Is This Pervasive Thought Holding You Back?

 If you’re anything like me, there are probably times (maybe more often than you’d like) when you find yourself getting lost in thoughts of what it will be like when you’ve reached the point of having it all together.

All throughout your life you’ve been told you need to strive for the next best thing.  The better job, the perfect relationship, the nicer house, the bigger paycheck, all things that would lead you to having it all together.

Perhaps it was society, or school, or your family or friends, or maybe a mix of all of the above, but somewhere along the way you learned that having it all figured out was the epitome of success and adulthood.

And even now, when you’ve checked some of the things off of your seemingly endless existential checklist, you’re still not feeling like any of your shit is actually together.

Yeah, me too.

I remember as I was growing up I looked up to the adults in my life and thought they had it all figured (okay, not allll the adults in my life, but you get the picture).  I couldn’t wait until I reached adulthood and could finally experience what it felt like to have all my ducks in a row.

And then I turned 18 and thought, certainly once I am done with school I will know this feeling.

And then I graduated and thought, surely once I get a job I will get it.

And then I went back to school, graduated again, landed an amazing job and thought, definitely once I start my own business I will discover what it feels like to have it all together.

And then I started my own business, got married and bought a house and was convinced that I would finally know what it feels like…

…And guess what?  I don’t.  I have no idea. Not a clue.  Because no one does.  Because “having it all together” is not real.

Don’t get me wrong, cultivating motivation and inspiration for progressing in our own personal evolution and working towards goals is important, and, it feels really freaking good to meet those goals, but in this hustle culture in which we exist, it is also crucial to LET YOURSELF LAND. 

Stop and smell the roses. 

Give yourself rest and gratitude for how far you’ve come already.

You were never meant to have it all together.  In fact, this concept is a completely false reality that we have been conditioned to strive for.  It’s not real.  It’s bullshit.  There is quite literally nobody on the face of the planet who has it all together.  

Now of course, those days when you’re able to check off all the items on your to-do list and attain a sense of accomplishment?  They can feel really fucking amazing and we love that for you, however, they are not what define you or your “togetherness” 

So how long are you going to let this write the narrative of your life?

Because, real talk for a second (and if you’re still here reading this I know you already know all of this to be true), the pressure of this perception can become paralyzing and lead to burn-out, anxiety, and low self-esteem (among maaaaany other things), so I propose we make a shift from this unrealistic, perfectionism-driven goal. 

Let’s reconceptualize what we consider to be “success” from being obsessed with the outcome of “having your shit together” to being committed to the journey of the process, because life is ever-evolving and changing, which means it is quite literally completely impossible to have everything figured out all the time.

I mean, how boring would that be anyways?!

It’s also really freaking hard to live in the moment when you are so busy trying to make sure you are checking off all the boxes all the time.

LET YOURSELF BREATHE 🌬

You are doing amazing right where you are. In this moment you are transforming and growing.  You are simultaneously having your shit together and all over the place all at once (aka, you are human).

xoxo, 

Sammy