How to Change Your Brain Through Self-Gratitude

Today I want to share something that has been present on my heart lately, especially at this time of year.  This season (especially the past week) is synonymous with reflecting on and expressing gratitude for those things in your life for which you are most thankful.  Perhaps going around the dinner table and sharing what you are most grateful for, or writing a quick social media post to ensure those around you know that you’re thinking of them.  Maybe it’s a time when you choose to just grin and bear it or retreat to your own space of solace until the hustle and bustle is through.

If you’re anything like me, this time of year is the epitome of juxtaposition.  You’re in a space being pulled between the overwhelming obligatory reflection on all that you have to be thankful for intersected with the seemingly opposing push to borderline overdose on consumerism because “you must get it now” ITS ON SALE.

Don’t worry, my intention here is not to go about dissecting the underpinnings of dysfunction that inherently perpetuate this dissonance, but you get what I'm saying.  There’s a lot of mixed messaging going on right now and your brain is more than likely getting caught up in it.

What I really want to focus on is actually YOU.

Let’s talk about how you can literally change your brain through self-gratitude.

First off, I want to clarify what I mean when I say “change your brain”

In short (like super summarizing here), practicing gratitude releases the “feel-good” hormones serotonin and dopamine into your brain, both of which are responsible for sending signals throughout your body that activate a sense of pleasure and well-being.  These neurotransmitters have a direct affect on your emotions and the power to positively impact and change how you feel both physically and emotionally.  

When you access and engage in things that contribute to producing these hormones, it can not only create long-lasting contentment, but also literally rewires your brain.  This happens through a process called “neuroplasticity” which is the brain’s ability to modify, grow, and reorganize itself in response to environmental changes and learning.  It “rewires” itself to function in some way that is divergent from how it previously did so.  

Through intentionally practicing gratitude on a regular basis you can cultivate an environment that initiates the process of neuroplasticity, which quite literally is transforming the molecular structure of your brain.

I’m going to totally nerd out here for a minute (as if that’s not what I’ve already been doing here), but bear with me because this is so cool. It has been shown that the areas of the brain associated with gratitude are actually also a part of the same neural network that is activated when you experience pleasure, as well as the regions of the brain that control emotion regulation and management.  So, essentially the practice of gratitude is dependent upon the same neural pathways that are associated with stress relief, social bonding, contentment, and happiness, which means that gratitude is being paired with these experiences, which can lead to reduced anxiety, less stress, increased self-esteem, and improved relationships (with self and other!).

A saying I really love when it comes to neuroplasticity is “neurons that fire together wire together” which is exactly where the concept of practicing self-gratitude comes into play.

If we know that just the sheer art of practicing gratitude has the power to create such positive and dynamic shifts, not just in your life and well-being but literally in the way your brain operates, imagine the impact it can have when you specifically shift the focus of your gratitude to yourself.

The more you activate these feel-good chemicals in your brain through practicing gratitude, while also pairing this experience with positive messaging about yourself, the more neurons are firing and wiring together. 

Now, I know it might feel weird to even consider the concept of self-gratitude.

So much of the energy at this time of year is rooted in outward reflection. The question “What do you have to be thankful for in your life?” prompts an innate external examination of the things in your life that you appreciate and admire.  The answer to this is so often filled with things that comprise your external life. And don’t get me wrong, this can be a beautiful practice, one that I actually encourage my client’s to implement on a regular basis (hence all that I’ve outlined thus far), however, in this season especially, it seems there is a very important part of your life that tends to be forgotten.  And it’s you.

Take a moment to honestly consider, when was the last time you sat down and compiled a list of things that you are thankful for solely about yourself?  

Furthermore, not even just about yourself, what are you grateful to yourself for? 

I find that this can actually be some of the most challenging things to list

I mean truly, how many times have people in your life told you “You should be grateful for…” followed by something like your friends, a gift, a partner, etc…

I can speak from personal experience on this one, this shit really does work.

And not in an instantaneous way.  Like everything, gratitude is a practice.  It is a process, not an outcome or destination.  

Practicing gratitude is a wonderful tool in improving your self-esteem, rapport, trust, and compassion, so imagine what it could be like if you refocus the attention of your gratitude inward.

Since you’ve likely not exactly been taught ways to practice this, I’ve compiled a list of ways you can start to incorporate self-gratitude into your own life.  And what better time to start than the present?

5 Ways to Practice Self-Gratitude:

Affirmations - say it out loud to yourself

Think about it.  We are taught to express explicit gratitude and say thank you to others all the time, but when was the last time you said this to yourself?  Notice what it might be like to verbally or mentally say “thank you” to yourself.  And of course, “thank you” is not the only way to show yourself gratitude.  Below I have included some self-gratitude affirmations to help get you started:

• I am grateful for showing up for myself today
• I appreciate the way that I advocated for my needs today
• I am grateful for the choices I made today
• I am grateful to my body for supporting me
• I am grateful to myself for remembering to drink more water today

Self-Gratitude Journaling:

Gratitude journaling is one of my absolute favorite gratitude practices, and a lovely activity to incorporate into your morning and/or night-time routines.  Perhaps you may even already have a gratitude journaling practice of your own.  One way to shift the focus of your gratitude inward is simply to refocus the prompts to yourself.  Here are some examples that could get you started:

• What is something you find yourself taking for granted about yourself and how can you change this?
• List 5 things I appreciate about myself
• What is one way I am grateful that I showed up for myself today?
• What is something I am grateful for learning about myself?
• What are three things I am grateful for about the way I think?
• What are some ways I am grateful for my body?
• What are three choices I’ve made for myself that I am grateful for choosing?

Prioritizing time for stillness and meditation

I firmly believe that finding a practice that incorporates stillness and introspective self-inquiry is crucial when it comes to self-connection and gratitude.  There are lots of different ways to do this, and they certainly do not all have to incorporate laying on a yoga mat with your eyes closed.  What can be important here is finding a practice that feels aligned for you and going into it with the intention and energy of self-gratitude.

Learn to say thank you when receiving compliments

Oh baby this one can be tough one!  If you find yourself deflecting compliments from others or always feeling the need to dismiss, minimize,  change the topic, or return the favor every time someone shares a compliment with you, I challenge you to really allow yourself to embrace the compliment (even if you may not believe it or agree with it) by simply accepting it with a “thank you”

Connect with your bod

I cannot iterate this enough, your body is truly the wisest element of your entire being.  Your emotions are experienced through your body (along with legitimately every other aspect of your life), so one way of expressing gratitude to your body is engaging in some form of movement or somatic awareness work through the intention of gratitude.  I actually really love to incorporate this with the affirmations I spoke to above.  Try it with me now.  Place your hand over your heart center and say to yourself “Thank you”  “I am grateful for the life force you pump through my body everyday”

If you choose to incorporate any of these practices into your life, I’d love to hear how it goes!